Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
