he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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