the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
