Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also, beer. Big fan.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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