Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
