just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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