i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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