She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize