Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
