Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
