at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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