This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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