I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
