drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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