Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
