Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize