so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
farters have to be the big spoon...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize