If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize