Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
