I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
