Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also, beer. Big fan.
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A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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