Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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