VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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