If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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