thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
