what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
