Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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