u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
