garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize