he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My bed smells like the plague
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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