ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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