he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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