didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
