Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
