Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
