Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
