a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
