I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize