What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
