it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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