Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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