he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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