im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
