Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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