I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
