with your own penis?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
