He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My pussy is not your playground.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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