dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
