I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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