Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
