Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
