Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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