Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
