Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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