Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
