My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
...so i touched it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
