You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you didnt know i had herpes?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
