So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she pinky promised me she was 18
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
