I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
