Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
