2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
