i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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