i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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