party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
